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31 Boxed Mac & Cheese Ranked Horrifying to The Crown Jewel

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 | June 20, 2022

Steve Bramucci, Editorial Director, Life/style+Culture of UPROXX, who is quoted as saying” I am not afraid to call myself the foremost global expert on boxed mac & cheese. Not like that’s some incredible thing to brag about, but still… I’m the guy. It’s me.” bought up every box of mac & cheese he could find on the grocery store shelves and ranked them from worst to best. This guy really knows his Mac & Cheese.

But since we here at Event Santa Cruz focus on Santa Cruz, we are just going to get right down to it. Yes, we are skipping the line for you and going straight to #1 (if you want to read the whole list first click here)

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THE CROWN JEWEL

1) GOODLES — Cheddy Mac

Tasting Notes:

Our winner shocked me for a whole bunch of reasons. Not the least of which is that they apparently use the same iridescent food packet supplier as the guy I get my psilocybin gummies from. More to the point, every other mac on this list that has tried to “sneak” healthiness into the dish has failed miserably. Those are some of the lowest-ranked boxes, and then here we are with a “healthy mac” at number one. What a world!

To be clear, the reason I usually hate foods that sneak vitamins in is not that I don’t like vitamins. In fact, sneaking vitamins into beloved foods is one of my own favorite cooking tricks. The problem is that with CPG foods, it’s done so clumsily that you taste the healthy stuff and the food almost separately, as if someone crumbled a multivitamin over French fries or ground up a fiber caplet on top of a nacho. But somehow it works here! The noodles taste ever so slightly of chlorophyll — because they have broccoli and kale snuck into them (way smarter than putting it in the powder) — but it’s not overly noticeable. It’s more like if someone boiled some spinach and kale in the same water they used to boil the noodles. I could care less about how healthy they are (I can’t imagine they’re all that good for you) but that added flavor layer actually works.

Like mac & cheese with a “smack of kale.”

The cheese powder is incredibly cheesy. Like Kraft cheesy. Hit’s you hard on the sides of your tongue and not overly powdery. The noodles stay al dente. I could go on but I don’t have to, beyond saying this with complete certainty…

The Bottom Line:

This is the best boxed macaroni and cheese on the market right now. Period. End of discussion. Trust me.

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